What's in a puff that leaves me wanting

What's in a puff that leaves me wanting
Bugging my head all day and night
to have a smoke whilst a fear of getting hooked

Is it worth the burn
Hole in the pocket, burnt
a clean pair of lungs, burnt

It shall keep me sane
Comes later, the pain

the staple of the day
When I'm alone and bored
When I'm with company to hide my insecurity
When I lost all hope i cross my fingers the lighter doesn't fail

If only the world would breathe it
If only it would not hurt me and leave a stench
If only it would take away all the worries in that moment of lightness

What's in a puff that leaves me wanting
When I hadn't even held a stick between 'em fingers

Die die die

Those who think they're saints dive right into hell
Sinners on the other hand have a chance of redemption
I know I'm a sinner but I'm not sure of my chances
Bitterness floods my blood
Depression sinks deep in my bowels
I think of forty ways to kill myself happier
Each way shows me the end but not the destination
I'm sorry for being unhappy all the time
but it seems days just don't get any better
If there is a way of escape, won't it come sooner
Perhaps an unworthy soul like mine should die slower

L'Amour De Ma Vie

i could never do without
hearing your voice before my sleep
having you fuss around when i am sick
clearing off my plate when i have more than i can eat
your warm embrace after a long week

one year ago seemed like yesterday
you told me to close my eyes and not peep
that was how you tricked me, first kiss on my lips
the little things you did, always surprises heaps
carved a hole in a thick IT book to place a cross necklace in it
sketchbook about the place of our courtship
99 red paper roses with our pictures glued together amidst
sunflowers for (not-very) special occasions
photo-album with friends' wishes you painstakingly collected
spending extravagantly on a HTC phone for me

you make me blush with your surprises
touched me to tears on a few occasions
i love the sweet innocence, the type coming from a child
and enthusiasm from a youth that never stops dreaming
i respect the way you pursue your goals
and the excellence in going forth



i'm besotted with you, mon amour, ma vie

what i think about when im sick

fever's overtaken me
the ringing ache between my eyes
and sore muscles down to the spine
ain't gonna make me stay in bed
i need fresh air and no cares, a space of my own
the sight of the pills, the sounds of your voice
its making me sick, seek down to core
i'll find the cause of my disease in a virus that lingers in my home
a virus called depression, it lurks
spreading repression of emotions
and depletion of hope
it eats me slowly, deadly
robbing my soul
as the temperature rises i can't think straight
and every second i think about the pain that awaits
on the other side of the grass, i imagine to be
an ungrateful lifestyle might make many flip

why make yourself miserable, you say
why put yourself through this, you fool

its just my way of seeking closure
when i am sick in my bed