maybe i should just shut up

"maybe i should just shut up"
this line i've confessed many times this year
i keep finding myself in situations
wishing i never said the things i did
i can't sustain a conversation
or express frank opinions to
my closest ones

feeling mistaken and misunderstood
leaving people in distaste and dismay

i really should shut up
my verbal expression comes out disorganized, uncertain and misinterpreted
my writing obsession: precise to my thoughts, full of conviction

i hate to feel stupid after the words i say
i hate to have words that i could never take back as easy as backspace
withdrawing from the deeper subjects
avoiding discussions that require complex deliberation

Oh who can i turn to for a listening ear
Who shall be patient enough, while i struggle in my failed re-phrasal of thoughts

maybe i should just shut up
and just wallow in a writing fixation