Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Kill myself slow

every night before I sleep
instead of looking to God for direction
I look into my cancer box
wondering how long I'll last with what's left in it
and I reach in, fiddling with the content
sniffing in the herbal aroma
so, I dream to kill myself slowly with this stick

every time I light up
each short-lived stick burns faster then I want them to
I'll fantasize about how much I'll enjoy the next stick
even before I can finish the one in my hand
alas, it finishes and my urge to see a fresh stick burn
and I'll just kill myself slow with this stick and the next

killing myself slowly with this stick
killing my emotions and decency
killing all morals and judgments
killing relationships and communication
killing joy killing life







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