Kill myself slow

every night before I sleep
instead of looking to God for direction
I look into my cancer box
wondering how long I'll last with what's left in it
and I reach in, fiddling with the content
sniffing in the herbal aroma
so, I dream to kill myself slowly with this stick

every time I light up
each short-lived stick burns faster then I want them to
I'll fantasize about how much I'll enjoy the next stick
even before I can finish the one in my hand
alas, it finishes and my urge to see a fresh stick burn
and I'll just kill myself slow with this stick and the next

killing myself slowly with this stick
killing my emotions and decency
killing all morals and judgments
killing relationships and communication
killing joy killing life

snuff out and walk away

i saw a girl lighting up today, the first time in her life
scrambling out of the bus heading for the quiet spot
shoved out a cigarette from the tight package, hands full of jitter
between her delicate fingers she placed the white stick
striking a light twice to make sure it lit
Pursing her lips she inhaled gently, careful not to choke
First huff of white smoke out her mouth
a stream of mint down her throat
Let's try it again, its quite fun watching smoke come out
Second huff, she observed deliriously
a bitter taste forms on the tongue
Standing behind the bus-stop panels, she took
a third, a fourth, a fifth puff as the mint and bitterness piled
Nothing excitable, she thought
and she snuffed out the cigarette and walked away

What's in a puff that leaves me wanting

What's in a puff that leaves me wanting
Bugging my head all day and night
to have a smoke whilst a fear of getting hooked

Is it worth the burn
Hole in the pocket, burnt
a clean pair of lungs, burnt

It shall keep me sane
Comes later, the pain

the staple of the day
When I'm alone and bored
When I'm with company to hide my insecurity
When I lost all hope i cross my fingers the lighter doesn't fail

If only the world would breathe it
If only it would not hurt me and leave a stench
If only it would take away all the worries in that moment of lightness

What's in a puff that leaves me wanting
When I hadn't even held a stick between 'em fingers