Far Away - her & his

from: her
to: him
date: Sun, Aug 1, 2010 at 2:58 AM
subject: far away

i need to be needed
i need to be wanted
when u r so far away
its unfair

i dress up for nobody
all made up but hangout with nobody
when u r so far away
i don't feel like u care

i'd think about how things were fine
you left me wondering
why you'd have to say yes to
be miles and miles away


from: him
to: her
date: Sun, Aug 1, 2010 at 2:28 PM
subject: far away

I need you
I want you
And when I am so far away
I do not need or want you any less,

Dress up because you are pretty
Hang out with those you hold dear
And when I am back
I can remind you how much I care

I'd like to think that things are still fine
I said yes to be miles and miles away
so I can be a better person that can one day
bring you miles and miles away with me.

I love you honey.

(:

in fear the years will creep up on me

My sms to Mr Sunflower last night:

Here i lie crying bcos im so scared.
So scared of losing my dreams.
Does growing up mean that dreams will be forgotten and wilt into the past?
Does growing up mean that our dreams were just a figment of imagination?
Does it fade away as more responsibilities come our way?
I'm so scared that i'll look back and regret not pursuing something further.
I'm so scared that i would be telling some youth, "hey that's what i wanted to do."
Here i lie in tears, in fear the years will creep up on me.



Mr Sunflower's reply this morning:

I believe everybody that dreams big feels like that sometimes but do not ever give up. always runnin and workin towards it, is key to gettin there. everyday we work towards that goal we become a little faster, a little stronger. we walk a mile further than we used to. and one day we'll get there. everytime u get discouraged i'll be there to lift u up because i know u'd do the same for me. i'm countin on u. with me by your side rest assured we will get there.

Get on

four sticks and vomitful of beer
just an outlet to release all the fear
we work hard, we try to stay real
after all've been done, there's just no way to steer clear
Of the pressures and power of subtle oppression

is that all we'll get after a month's hard work
is that all there's to life till the end of times
then why do we still fight to survive
if this is how we're really gonna live all our lives

a windfall's not about to come any soon, just like that
an opportunity's not gonna land in our faces, just like that
its time to stand up for our future, its now to lead a change
sulking and avoidance will get us nowhere
there's a price to to pay, it'll be worthwhile someday
and before that time comes, get on with the race

Missing you in the middle of the night

Lying in your embrace a state of bliss
In your eyes in your touch I find a promise of love and peace
I'll just be anywhere you'll be
This much I know, I know it from your kiss

Baby I'm missing you as the minutes go
the next time we'll meet again it seems really long
I need your sweet whispers down my neck and holding me in this cold
On this bed I lie I imagine us together growing old

I hope to see you in my dreams tonight my sweet dreams tonight
Baby hold me tight, make everything alright

i look at my life
i feel messed up
i think about my past
i got nothing but disgust
where i'm sitting now there's a pile of rubbish on my desk
what's in my head now its running away without cares
defeated, unmotivated, hate
wishing, wanting, waiting for change

how do i come to Him in a state like this
how do i have faith that I'm a child of His
how do i go on living, so that i can be happy, at least

For a long time

For a long time, I've been sad
For a long time, I've not felt the sense of destiny & purpose that I had
For a long time, I've been living on the things that were considered good by the world
For the longest time, I've not found fulfillment in the things I do
A long time should end now, if You tell me how.



--------------------------------

Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Philippians 2:13
For it is God who works in you to will
and to act according to his good purpose.


--------------------------------

pot of surprise

life's getting harder and i'm not getting any younger
am i going to complete the things i set out to do
it seems time is passing by faster and everybody
else is doing something, going somewhere

will the good things remain and blossom prettier
or will it all go downhill from here
i think i must change myself to make this world better
and make everyone around me happier

should we wait for tomorrow before any rash decisions
can we believe and hope for nice surprises
like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow after the showers

no worries no fear
i'll take myself further than i've been before
a step at a time and i'll leap and not fall
putting all my trust in the one I call God

Maybe then
we can finally find the pot of surprise after we've braved through the storms